It Could Only Happen to Fiona...

So, my much loved Aunt Carmen stayed overnight with me last night. We had a simply lovely night; she is truly one of my favorite people in the whole world. We always laugh about how alike we are , and how these absurd things always seem to happen to us.

Aunt C was on her way to bed last night, as was I. She returned upstairs to tell me that, as she gave a mighty yank to pull off her beautiful old cameo ring, it flew from her grasp, hit the wall, and slipped under the bed. She could see it, especially with her little flashlight, but wasn't quite able to reach it. "Oh goody", say I, eager to show off all the uses for my long, floppy arms & legs. "I bet I can reach it." So down I go, peek under the bed, and there, indeed, is the lovely ring, in a huge dust bunny at the far back of the bed next to the wall. I lie down, and stretch my prodigious arm to its outside limit, but still fell short of the ring. Crestfalllen, I got up off the floor, and Aunt Carmen suggested that I grab a stick or a broom or something. Not to be defeated, I flop back onto the floor, and decide that if I lie on my back, and use my legs, I'd be sure to flick the ring into arm's reach. I shimmy on my back as far as I can go under the bed, and no dice. Like Pooh Bear in Rabbit's hole, I did not heed the obvious, which was that I DID NOT FIT. I shove a little further, and I am momentarity completely stuck. On my back. Half under the bed. Pinned like a bug on a board. Great. Aunt Carmen looks down at me with a bemused expression, and points out the only she and I could find ourselves in this predicament!

With a great deal of wiggling, I extract myself from the underside of the bed frame, resorted to the broom that Aunt C. suggested in the first place, and swiped the ring out and onto a safe place on the dresser.....Episode gives a whole new meaning to the term "bed-ridden", no? I then spent the next 10 minutes pulling massive amounts of fluff and under-bed detritus from my hair, prior to heading off to bed.

Under a bed. Off to bed.